The Advice shared by A Father That Helped Us when I became a New Dad

"In my view I was just trying to survive for the first year."

One-time Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey expected to handle the challenges of fatherhood.

Yet the actual experience rapidly became "utterly different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health issues surrounding the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver as well as looking after their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, every nappy change… every stroll. The role of mother and father," Ryan explained.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. That was when a conversation with his father, on a public seat, that led him to understand he needed help.

The straightforward words "You're not in a good place. You must get assistance. What can I do to help you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and start recovering.

His experience is commonplace, but infrequently talked about. While people is now more accustomed to addressing the pressure on moms and about PND, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his difficulties are linked to a wider failure to communicate among men, who still hold onto damaging perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It is not a display of weakness to request help. I was too slow to do that quick enough," he explains.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health before and after childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to admit they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - especially in front of a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the opportunity to ask for a respite - taking a short trip overseas, separate from the home environment, to see things clearly.

He understood he had to make a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's feelings as well as the day-to-day duties of taking care of a newborn.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she longed for" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan sees fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he wishes his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan believes these will help his son better understand the language of emotion and understand his decisions as a father.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen was without stable male a father figure. Despite having an "amazing" bond with his dad, long-standing trauma resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "terrible actions" when he was younger to alter how he felt, turning in alcohol and substances as an escape from the hurt.

"You gravitate to behaviours that don't help," he says. "They can temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Getting By as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a family member, your other half or a counsellor what you're going through. This can to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the activities that allowed you to feel like you before the baby arrived. Examples include going for a run, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the physical health - a good diet, physical activity and if you can, resting, all are important in how your emotional health is coping.
• Spend time with other new dads - sharing their journeys, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Understand that asking for help is not failure - looking after yourself is the most effective way you can support your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the death, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead offer the safety and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they do "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the feelings in a healthy way.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they confronted their issues, transformed how they express themselves, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I have improved at… sitting with things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I said, sometimes I believe my role is to teach and advise you on life, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I'm learning as much as you are through this experience."